Ask Captain Jack - Rec: Adventures on Earth, The Saga by Captain John Hart

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ask_captainjack

08 May 2009 @ 03:52 pm

Rec: Adventures on Earth, The Saga by Captain John Hart

Did you kids know that I am the world's most bitchin' beta?

Not only do I shoot your 21st century problems in the face, I also shoot your 21st century fan fictions in the face. I have a red marker that I use to make spun gold out of Rumpelstiltskins.

It's a rule that when you a beta a fan fiction you have to recommend it on your Livejournal later even if it stinks. I wondered how to get around this but there's just no way huh?

Go read: Adventures On Earth, the SAGA (801/1985) by Captain John Hart

My best beta work ever!

OKAY, I know it's a WIP. What can I do about it? I'm sure he'll finish it eventually so please don't wail into your pillows that he doesn't update quick enough.

Tags: my bitchin' fan fiction, recs

Current Location: Outside the government, beyond the police

My 51st century feelings today :

in your fan fictions, fixing u

147 problems solved! | I can help you!

( 147 problems solved! — Post a new comment )

_tallian_ on May 8th, 2009 08:05 pm (UTC)

If he updates too slowly, can I wail into your crotch instead?

I come highly recommended.

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ask_aboutcoffee on May 8th, 2009 08:07 pm (UTC)

Ahem.

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ask_captainjack on May 8th, 2009 08:08 pm (UTC)

_tallian_ on May 8th, 2009 08:16 pm (UTC)

neifile7 on May 8th, 2009 08:47 pm (UTC)

ask_aboutcoffee on May 8th, 2009 08:17 pm (UTC)

_tallian_ on May 8th, 2009 08:18 pm (UTC)

ask_captainjack on May 8th, 2009 08:08 pm (UTC)

I would love for you to wail into my crotch. You know I'm always here for you when you need me, right?

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_tallian_ on May 8th, 2009 08:17 pm (UTC)

ask_captainjack on May 8th, 2009 08:20 pm (UTC)

_tallian_ on May 8th, 2009 08:25 pm (UTC)

timeagency on May 9th, 2009 02:19 am (UTC)

thaddeusfavour on May 9th, 2009 05:42 pm (UTC)

ask_captainjack on May 9th, 2009 05:48 pm (UTC)

woman_of_ on May 8th, 2009 08:25 pm (UTC)

Oh Jack, not only betaing but reccing as well. Above and beyond the call of a beta. Then you always to go above and beyond duty.

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ask_captainjack on May 8th, 2009 09:00 pm (UTC)

I DO. Thank you for your kind words. I work hard for my team. Not just in bossing them well but also in fixing their lives. It's full service when you work with me!

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oh_doask on May 8th, 2009 08:32 pm (UTC)

Now put it in your fucking sidebar like all your other trophies!

Some respect for the best thing that ever happened to you, here.

LOL

I love it when you just snap to attention and follow commands! It's like we are back at Battle School and you can't get your pants on fast enough during the nightly drill and stumble into the sand head first and then wobbled up again because Octo would have taken your head off otherwise.

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ask_captainjack on May 8th, 2009 08:46 pm (UTC)

I'm not a morning person. Don't worry, I learned to sleep with the gun under the pillow or balled-up rucksack.

I may have been the sleepiest in line for headcount but I was the best armed!

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shane_mayhem on May 8th, 2009 09:29 pm (UTC)

WHY IS THAT MENTAL IMAGE SO HOT??

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elainasaunt on May 8th, 2009 08:34 pm (UTC)

The illustrations are good. Cryptic.

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oh_doask on May 8th, 2009 08:36 pm (UTC)

THE ILLUSTRATIONS ARE MINE!

DON'T PRETEND LIKE THEY ARE HIS!

WHAT THE FUCK?! YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO GIVE ME THE FUCKING FEEDBACK! I'M THE ARTISTE!

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ask_captainjack on May 8th, 2009 08:44 pm (UTC)

oh_doask on May 8th, 2009 08:46 pm (UTC)

ask_captainjack on May 8th, 2009 09:09 pm (UTC)

oh_doask on May 8th, 2009 09:10 pm (UTC)

neifile7 on May 8th, 2009 09:31 pm (UTC)

oh_doask on May 8th, 2009 09:34 pm (UTC)

51stcenturyfox on May 8th, 2009 10:23 pm (UTC)

ask_captainjack on May 8th, 2009 11:42 pm (UTC)

oh_doask on May 9th, 2009 12:09 am (UTC)

ask_arealdoctor on May 9th, 2009 12:13 am (UTC)

ask_captainjack on May 9th, 2009 12:26 am (UTC)

elainasaunt on May 9th, 2009 08:27 am (UTC)

ask_captainjack on May 8th, 2009 08:41 pm (UTC)

When things are cryptic they're more artistic than when things are clear. Hart's being pretentious just to win awards.

GOOD. TACTICAL.

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gwen_e_cooper on May 8th, 2009 08:42 pm (UTC)

I'd ask you to beta mine, Jack, but I can't take the red pen.

It's too judgey and not uplifting/comforting.

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ask_captainjack on May 8th, 2009 08:47 pm (UTC)

Baby everything you do is amazing. Gwen Cooper is practically perfect.

I don't have corrections for you other than a line through that fat trucker of yours.

No, a line and a (!?)

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gwen_e_cooper on May 8th, 2009 08:56 pm (UTC)

ask_captainjack on May 8th, 2009 08:59 pm (UTC)

ask_aboutcoffee on May 8th, 2009 08:59 pm (UTC)

ask_captainjack on May 8th, 2009 09:02 pm (UTC)

oh_doask on May 8th, 2009 09:00 pm (UTC)

gwen_e_cooper on May 8th, 2009 09:07 pm (UTC)

ask_aboutcoffee on May 8th, 2009 09:08 pm (UTC)

oh_doask on May 8th, 2009 09:12 pm (UTC)

gwen_e_cooper on May 8th, 2009 09:14 pm (UTC)

oh_doask on May 8th, 2009 09:16 pm (UTC)

gwen_e_cooper on May 8th, 2009 09:31 pm (UTC)

oh_doask on May 8th, 2009 09:35 pm (UTC)

gwen_e_cooper on May 9th, 2009 01:51 pm (UTC)

oh_doask on May 9th, 2009 01:55 pm (UTC)

dontask_pcandy on May 9th, 2009 12:13 am (UTC)

gwen_e_cooper on May 9th, 2009 01:53 pm (UTC)

ask_arealdoctor on May 8th, 2009 09:03 pm (UTC)

The things you're willing to do for your team never fail to bring a tear to my eye, honey.

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neifile7 on May 8th, 2009 09:14 pm (UTC)

Sure it's not the stench of rotting fanfic that's got you tearing up, Martha?

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oh_doask on May 8th, 2009 09:15 pm (UTC)

neifile7 on May 8th, 2009 09:27 pm (UTC)

ask_captainjack on May 8th, 2009 11:29 pm (UTC)

ask_arealdoctor on May 8th, 2009 09:26 pm (UTC)

ask_captainjack on May 8th, 2009 11:30 pm (UTC)

THANKS MARTHA. When you spent a year treking around the world to save us all from the Master you came close to understanding what it feels like to beta fan fiction.

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ask_arealdoctor on May 8th, 2009 11:56 pm (UTC)

ask_captainjack on May 9th, 2009 12:07 am (UTC)

timeagency on May 9th, 2009 02:22 am (UTC)

ask_captainjack on May 9th, 2009 02:33 am (UTC)

timeagency on May 9th, 2009 02:40 am (UTC)

askfor_bananas on May 9th, 2009 02:45 am (UTC)

ask_captainjack on May 9th, 2009 02:48 am (UTC)

askfor_bananas on May 9th, 2009 02:54 am (UTC)

ask_captainjack on May 9th, 2009 02:58 am (UTC)

askfor_bananas on May 9th, 2009 03:00 am (UTC)

ask_captainjack on May 9th, 2009 03:02 am (UTC)

askfor_bananas on May 9th, 2009 03:06 am (UTC)

ask_captainjack on May 9th, 2009 03:10 am (UTC)

askfor_bananas on May 9th, 2009 03:12 am (UTC)

ask_captainjack on May 9th, 2009 03:14 am (UTC)

askfor_bananas on May 9th, 2009 03:15 am (UTC)

timeagency on May 9th, 2009 03:02 am (UTC)

askfor_bananas on May 9th, 2009 03:11 am (UTC)

ask_captainjack on May 9th, 2009 02:46 am (UTC)

timeagency on May 9th, 2009 03:05 am (UTC)

ask_captainjack on May 9th, 2009 03:44 am (UTC)

timeagency on May 9th, 2009 03:55 am (UTC)

timeagency on May 9th, 2009 03:56 am (UTC)

neifile7 on May 9th, 2009 02:31 pm (UTC)

smirnoffmule on May 8th, 2009 09:16 pm (UTC)

Hey. Where's the porn? You are supposed to put porn in fan fictions

Yours is a profound and insightful understanding of the genre.

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sevendayloan on May 8th, 2009 11:17 pm (UTC)

Gospel truth, my friend. Gospel truth.

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ask_captainjack on May 8th, 2009 11:23 pm (UTC)

THANK YOU! I'm even more profound and insightful in bed.

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51stcenturyfox on May 8th, 2009 09:38 pm (UTC)

Now I want you to beta my stuff, Captain Jack.

Reasons:

a.) A rec! (Even if it stinks.)
b.) Cute post-its!
c.) You seem strict with punctuation, yet gentle with the creative feedback.

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neifile7 on May 8th, 2009 09:42 pm (UTC)

He does seem to have a profound sense of discipline and tenderness. Shame to waste it on Hart.

I'd go for the post-its, too. Mmm.

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51stcenturyfox on May 8th, 2009 09:44 pm (UTC)

neifile7 on May 8th, 2009 09:52 pm (UTC)

ask_captainjack on May 9th, 2009 12:19 am (UTC)

neifile7 on May 9th, 2009 12:20 am (UTC)

51stcenturyfox on May 9th, 2009 12:28 am (UTC)

ask_captainjack on May 9th, 2009 12:52 am (UTC)

51stcenturyfox on May 9th, 2009 01:09 am (UTC)

ask_captainjack on May 9th, 2009 01:13 am (UTC)

shane_mayhem on May 8th, 2009 09:54 pm (UTC)

51stcenturyfox on May 8th, 2009 09:57 pm (UTC)

shane_mayhem on May 8th, 2009 10:00 pm (UTC)

51stcenturyfox on May 8th, 2009 10:05 pm (UTC)

oh_doask on May 8th, 2009 10:06 pm (UTC)

51stcenturyfox on May 8th, 2009 10:10 pm (UTC)

smirnoffmule on May 9th, 2009 07:53 am (UTC)

51stcenturyfox on May 9th, 2009 01:37 pm (UTC)

oh_doask on May 9th, 2009 02:45 pm (UTC)

smirnoffmule on May 9th, 2009 02:47 pm (UTC)

shane_mayhem on May 8th, 2009 10:16 pm (UTC)

ask_aboutcoffee on May 8th, 2009 10:54 pm (UTC)

neifile7 on May 9th, 2009 01:40 am (UTC)

ask_aboutcoffee on May 9th, 2009 01:41 am (UTC)

ask_captainjack on May 9th, 2009 01:52 am (UTC)

ask_aboutcoffee on May 9th, 2009 01:58 am (UTC)

ask_captainjack on May 9th, 2009 02:02 am (UTC)

ask_aboutcoffee on May 9th, 2009 02:14 am (UTC)

neifile7 on May 9th, 2009 02:31 am (UTC)

ask_aboutcoffee on May 9th, 2009 02:37 am (UTC)

neifile7 on May 9th, 2009 02:48 am (UTC)

ask_aboutcoffee on May 9th, 2009 05:43 pm (UTC)

ask_captainjack on May 9th, 2009 05:49 pm (UTC)

ask_captainjack on May 8th, 2009 11:26 pm (UTC)

I was only gentle with the creative feedback because I didn't realise until the end that the fan fiction lacked porn.

By the end I was already done with my beta! You can't go back once you beta a page, you can only go forward.

Hart should have put a warning in the beginning: "No fucking in this chapter!" :-(

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51stcenturyfox on May 8th, 2009 11:56 pm (UTC)

oh_doask on May 8th, 2009 11:59 pm (UTC)

ask_captainjack on May 9th, 2009 12:37 am (UTC)

neifile7 on May 9th, 2009 02:33 am (UTC)

oh_doask on May 8th, 2009 09:55 pm (UTC)

I made Ianto an icon

Sex Y/Y?

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shane_mayhem on May 8th, 2009 10:17 pm (UTC)

It's delightfully post-modern. I love how he is apparently made of tubes.

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oh_doask on May 8th, 2009 10:19 pm (UTC)

shane_mayhem on May 8th, 2009 10:20 pm (UTC)

oh_doask on May 8th, 2009 10:46 pm (UTC)

ask_aboutcoffee on May 8th, 2009 10:50 pm (UTC)

ask_captainjack on May 8th, 2009 11:28 pm (UTC)

ask_aboutcoffee on May 8th, 2009 11:29 pm (UTC)

shane_mayhem on May 9th, 2009 07:13 am (UTC)

ask_aboutcoffee on May 8th, 2009 10:49 pm (UTC)

ask_captainjack on May 8th, 2009 11:26 pm (UTC)

ask_aboutcoffee on May 8th, 2009 11:30 pm (UTC)

ask_captainjack on May 8th, 2009 11:43 pm (UTC)

askfor_bananas on May 9th, 2009 12:40 am (UTC)

I think you might need to go into quarantine. Whatever it is Hart has must be catching.

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ask_captainjack on May 9th, 2009 12:51 am (UTC)

DOCTOR! Just because I have hobbies!? That's unfair.

I hope you aren't going to do the nasty thing you will (did) do to Harriet Jones. She was (will be) Prime Minister. I'd better say no more!

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askfor_bananas on May 9th, 2009 01:00 am (UTC)

ask_captainjack on May 9th, 2009 01:05 am (UTC)

askfor_bananas on May 9th, 2009 01:09 am (UTC)

timeagency on May 9th, 2009 02:26 am (UTC)

askfor_bananas on May 9th, 2009 02:47 am (UTC)

neifile7 on May 9th, 2009 02:48 am (UTC)

elistaire on May 9th, 2009 04:16 am (UTC)

*dies* So hilarious.

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ask_captainjack on May 9th, 2009 04:05 pm (UTC)

Try to contain the LULZ if you see Hart around. He's too sensitive about his fan fictions! I tell him to BUCK UP, SOLDIER! but then it's all shoving Ianto out of the way so he can cry under Tosh's desk.

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