?

Log in

 
 
26 June 2009 @ 04:33 pm
Smart is Sexy  
Dear Captain Jack,

I am writing because I saw in your last advice column that you defended a thesis on the SPRAY THE MUTHAFUCKIN SCENE, MUTHFUCKAH! technique in Battle School. I'm working on my thesis right now. It's not about spraying the scene with bullets, though. Maybe that's why I'm having such a hard time with it.

I have never had such a hard time writing anything in my life. I go out of my way to procrastinate with long, hard sessions of house-cleaning in nothing but my lingerie, long periods of time surfing XTube online literary magazines, and midday naps (also nearly naked). When I get up the courage to write, it's like I have to fight for every sentence. This has gone on for months, and my thesis advisor is getting exasperated with me. Not to mention, I'm getting exasperated with myself.

I was hoping you could either heal my writer's block with your cock, or share your experiences thesis-defending in Battle School in order to help me realize what I'm doing wrong, and give me some tips on getting through this thesis so I emerge as the sexy academic superstar I know I can be. Help me, Captain Jack! Help me shoot this thesis in the face!

Love and titties,
Smart Is Sexy

-----------------------

It's easy to get distracted when you're so brainy! You need constant stimulation. I understand this intimately.

Once I was sitting in my office, trying to think about the mysterious "missing three days" we lost last year... What had happened in that time? What was the threat to my hot sexy team? What needed to be shot in the face?

I couldn't keep my mind on the topic at hand because somebody had left a box of sand on my desk.

You know me and boxes. You know me and sand. I'm a very tactile hero and boss.

I probably spent 3 or 4 hours running my fingers through sand...Tossing it over my shoulder, dumping it out, making little piles, dumping it back in, blowing it around the office, doing awesome soft shoe routines, etc.

Is that how you feel, Smart is Sexy? Like people keep bringing you boxes of sand?

There are a lot of great ways to knuckle down and finish your thesis work. The first and best way is: Graduate without defending your thesis in the first place!

For instance, remember how Captain Kirk spent so much time and effort beating the Kobayashi Maru? He was up for hours writing code to change the simulation program. Jesus christ, what a nerd.

I beat Kobayashi Maru the old-fashioned way. I fucked the Examiner!

"So, I rescued those ships in the neutral zone and didn't use up all my dilithium and stuff, right?" I said to him, as we were going at it. "Can we just mark this as pass?"

He agreed with my proposal.

Have you thought about just fucking your thesis advisor? That way you get the degree and he or she gets something nice out of it too.

If you absolutely have to write a thesis, that's okay. I'm sure you can be as amazing at writing things down as I am.

The best way to write anything is to pound out your (academic) thoughts in one go. If you have a sister you can sit in a car eating candy beans while she writes down your pearls of wisdom for you. A back-up option here would be a butler or someone else with a lot of patience and an interest in a share of your royalties.

If you don't have a sister, you have to record your words yourself. FINE, no problem. You already know what you want to argue, right?

I assume you have a topic. Now all you have to do is ramble towards your point in as many words as possible. Everyone knows that content is not important. Who is going to check your work? As long as you have a clean shirt and a fantastic smile when you have to "defend" your paper, you'll do just fine. Are you planning to wear a short skirt? I did!

As for doing the research notes, 21st technology has made this so much easier. I don't know how old you were when you started toiling uselessly towards a graduate degree, but a lot has happened in the last 15 years!

Social networking tools make verifying sources much faster. Speed is important. Accuracy is for the Germans. You should Twitter something like: "Modern Feminism, in transition? Y/Y?" and when you get back a bunch of "Y" tweets that means your argument is solid. Fucking solid! Similarly "Vaccines cause Autism - need anecdotes!" is going to send a lot of data your way.

I recommend a thesis be presented in Courier font. It looks old timey. Like you spent years banging away at a typewriter. That's how intelligent you are. You use a typewriter! You could be the kind of hipster who plays Scrabble in cafes. So, just give you the fucking degree already! <- All that is conveyed just by using Courier.

You know my love of Comic Sans, but that's really a "business" font. Use Comic Sans when you're applying for an internship at the Time Agency. LOL! I am kidding. The Agency doesn't want academics. They recruit poor kids from rural areas. Have you seen the posters?

"JOIN THE TIME AGENCY: A TWO YEAR TOUR PAYS FOR COLLEGE".

Of course, the "two years" is relative. REALLY relative.

Because I'm an expert in education, I thought I'd share some of my cover pages. I hope you will be inspired!

 

My 1930 thesis!


Everybody loved this paper. What's not to love about guns and planes? The only criticism I got was from some faculty members who didn't understand why I referenced "World War One" throughout my work. I explained about a billion fucking times that I didn't want readers to get it confused with the war coming up!

In the future, you submit all your work through tricorder. I enlarged the screen so you can see my thesis.

My 51st century thesis!


Everybody loved this download. What's not to love about canons and spaceships?

I was lauded for writing my thesis in the second person and for putting in so many hurt/comfort scenes. In case you're wondering, "Captain Jack, did you put warnings on your thesis?" Yes, of course I did. There was a lot of dub-con in the technical illustrations.

I think I've given you some awesome suggestions for how to complete your graduate work. Letters after your name are going to be sexy. Triple XXX sexy!

Yrs helpfully,
Cpt. Jack Harkness, PhD. Engineering 1930, PhD. Heretical Physics 5027
 
 
My 51st century feelings today : workingacademic
 
 
 
Ianto Jones: boyfriendask_aboutcoffee on June 26th, 2009 09:10 pm (UTC)
I shagged a professor once, in my Drifting period. Clearly I got the benefits of higher education without all the fuss and bother of the degree. That said, I apparently missed a lot of erotic housecleaning.

So, technically, you're Dr. Captain Jack Harkness. Or Captain Dr. Jack Harkness?

For a man with a doctorate in Engineering it's amazing how long it took you to figure out the electric tin opener.
ask_captainjackask_captainjack on June 26th, 2009 09:19 pm (UTC)
You lost me after "I shagged a professor once".

WHAT DID HE OR SHE LOOK LIKE?

How did his suede arm patches feel? Or her dangly artisan earrings? This is so erotic.

PS: The tin opener is electric!?
(no subject) - ask_aboutcoffee on June 26th, 2009 09:28 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ask_captainjack on June 26th, 2009 09:34 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ask_aboutcoffee on June 26th, 2009 09:37 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ask_captainjack on June 26th, 2009 10:53 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ask_aboutcoffee on June 26th, 2009 11:49 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ask_captainjack on June 26th, 2009 11:53 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ask_aboutcoffee on June 26th, 2009 11:56 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ask_captainjack on June 26th, 2009 11:57 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ask_aboutcoffee on June 27th, 2009 12:01 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ask_captainjack on June 27th, 2009 12:02 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ask_aboutcoffee on June 27th, 2009 12:06 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - neifile7 on June 27th, 2009 12:08 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ask_aboutcoffee on June 27th, 2009 12:23 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - kel_reiley on June 29th, 2009 03:12 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - gizmometer on June 26th, 2009 09:43 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ask_aboutcoffee on June 26th, 2009 09:47 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - gizmometer on June 26th, 2009 09:57 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ask_captainjack on June 26th, 2009 10:43 pm (UTC) (Expand)
neifile7neifile7 on June 26th, 2009 09:10 pm (UTC)
There's a serious lack of proper warnings in academic theses. As ever, you set a sterling example. Some butlers readers are deeply traumatized by unexpected h/c.
ask_captainjackask_captainjack on June 26th, 2009 09:17 pm (UTC)
I warned! There was pegging in the Appendix too, so I warned for that just to be polite.
(no subject) - neifile7 on June 26th, 2009 09:49 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ask_arealdoctor on June 26th, 2009 09:50 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ask_aboutcoffee on June 26th, 2009 09:52 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - neifile7 on June 26th, 2009 09:55 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ask_aboutcoffee on June 26th, 2009 09:57 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - neifile7 on June 26th, 2009 10:13 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ask_captainjack on June 26th, 2009 10:42 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - neifile7 on June 26th, 2009 11:00 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - phaetonschariot on June 26th, 2009 09:25 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ask_captainjack on June 26th, 2009 09:33 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - phaetonschariot on June 26th, 2009 09:35 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ask_arealdoctor on June 26th, 2009 10:07 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - phaetonschariot on June 26th, 2009 10:09 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Martha Jones, MDask_arealdoctor on June 26th, 2009 09:13 pm (UTC)
You spelled "cannon" wrong.
neifile7neifile7 on June 26th, 2009 09:14 pm (UTC)
You sure? :)
CANON! - ask_captainjack on June 26th, 2009 09:17 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: CANON! - phaetonschariot on June 26th, 2009 09:24 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: CANON! - ask_captainjack on June 26th, 2009 09:28 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: CANON! - phaetonschariot on June 26th, 2009 09:30 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: CANON! - gwen_e_cooper on June 26th, 2009 11:19 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: CANON! - phaetonschariot on June 26th, 2009 11:21 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: CANON! - ask_captainjack on June 26th, 2009 11:21 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: CANON! - ask_arealdoctor on June 26th, 2009 09:47 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: CANON! - ask_captainjack on June 26th, 2009 10:40 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: CANON! - ask_arealdoctor on June 26th, 2009 10:50 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: CANON! - ask_captainjack on June 26th, 2009 10:54 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: CANON! - neifile7 on June 26th, 2009 11:02 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: CANON! - ask_captainjack on June 26th, 2009 11:19 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: CANON! - neifile7 on June 27th, 2009 12:03 am (UTC) (Expand)
digger, listener, runnerphaetonschariot on June 26th, 2009 09:23 pm (UTC)
It's okay, you shot the danger in the face, you just can't remember. Everyone blanked it out of their minds because they couldn't process how incredibly fucking awesome you were.
ask_captainjackask_captainjack on June 26th, 2009 09:27 pm (UTC)
Good assumption. You're banking on the fact that my team and I are awesome...True, always back a winner!
(no subject) - phaetonschariot on June 26th, 2009 09:29 pm (UTC) (Expand)
thaddeusfavour on June 26th, 2009 09:28 pm (UTC)
Hmm. I'm not writing a thesis. Lots of my friends are writing a thesis. I'm feeling left out.

PhD. Heretical Physics 5027

Okay. I think Heretical Physics is the way to go! That's what I want to study.
ask_captainjackask_captainjack on June 26th, 2009 09:30 pm (UTC)
It's the best kind. It's the most taut kind of physics you can study. There are no "right" answers, only "less wrong" answers.
(no subject) - thaddeusfavour on June 26th, 2009 09:33 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ask_captainjack on June 26th, 2009 10:55 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - darthhellokitty on June 26th, 2009 11:54 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - amand_r on June 27th, 2009 01:57 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - darthhellokitty on June 27th, 2009 06:56 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - amand_r on June 27th, 2009 06:57 am (UTC) (Expand)
CAPTAIN John Hartoh_doask on June 26th, 2009 09:31 pm (UTC)
I never put warnings. It destroys the fucking impact of my discoveries! WHAT'S THE POINT OF THE THESIS IF I TELL YOU WHAT'S IN IT AHEAD OF TIME?!

Follow the tension arc to the gold pot. That's how this shit works.
digger, listener, runnerphaetonschariot on June 26th, 2009 09:36 pm (UTC)
That's how they taught us to write essays, though. First say what you're going to say, then say it, then say what you've just said. It's pointless, but ups the word count impressively.
(no subject) - oh_doask on June 26th, 2009 09:43 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - phaetonschariot on June 26th, 2009 09:45 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - oh_doask on June 26th, 2009 09:52 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ask_captainjack on June 26th, 2009 11:02 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - oh_doask on June 27th, 2009 12:23 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ask_captainjack on June 26th, 2009 09:36 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - oh_doask on June 26th, 2009 09:39 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - phaetonschariot on June 26th, 2009 09:46 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - oh_doask on June 26th, 2009 09:53 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - phaetonschariot on June 26th, 2009 09:54 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - oh_doask on June 26th, 2009 09:55 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - phaetonschariot on June 26th, 2009 09:59 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ask_arealdoctor on June 26th, 2009 10:08 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - phaetonschariot on June 26th, 2009 10:10 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ask_arealdoctor on June 26th, 2009 10:11 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - phaetonschariot on June 26th, 2009 10:13 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ask_arealdoctor on June 26th, 2009 10:15 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - phaetonschariot on June 26th, 2009 10:21 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ask_arealdoctor on June 26th, 2009 10:23 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ask_captainjack on June 26th, 2009 10:58 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ask_arealdoctor on June 26th, 2009 11:01 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ask_captainjack on June 26th, 2009 11:08 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ask_arealdoctor on June 26th, 2009 11:24 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Martha Jones, MD: I'm a real doctorask_arealdoctor on June 26th, 2009 09:51 pm (UTC)
My MD thesis is Classified. That's what comes of finishing my medical degree while at UNIT.
ask_captainjackask_captainjack on June 26th, 2009 10:39 pm (UTC)
On account of all the aliens? You could have fudged that. For 'alien', put "foreigner". And for 'tentacles', put "normal human organs".
(no subject) - ask_arealdoctor on June 26th, 2009 10:49 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - neifile7 on June 26th, 2009 11:06 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ask_arealdoctor on June 26th, 2009 11:15 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ask_captainjack on June 26th, 2009 11:24 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ask_arealdoctor on June 26th, 2009 11:30 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ask_captainjack on June 26th, 2009 11:33 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ask_arealdoctor on June 26th, 2009 11:38 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ask_captainjack on June 26th, 2009 11:39 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ask_arealdoctor on June 26th, 2009 11:45 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ask_captainjack on June 26th, 2009 11:46 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ask_arealdoctor on June 26th, 2009 11:53 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ask_captainjack on June 26th, 2009 11:55 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ask_arealdoctor on June 26th, 2009 11:56 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ask_aboutcoffee on June 27th, 2009 12:00 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ask_captainjack on June 27th, 2009 12:01 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ask_arealdoctor on June 27th, 2009 12:02 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ask_captainjack on June 27th, 2009 12:05 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ask_arealdoctor on June 27th, 2009 12:07 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ask_captainjack on June 27th, 2009 12:08 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ask_arealdoctor on June 27th, 2009 12:02 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ask_aboutcoffee on June 27th, 2009 12:04 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ask_arealdoctor on June 27th, 2009 12:06 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ask_aboutcoffee on June 27th, 2009 12:07 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ask_arealdoctor on June 27th, 2009 12:08 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ask_aboutcoffee on June 27th, 2009 12:10 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ask_captainjack on June 27th, 2009 12:13 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ask_aboutcoffee on June 27th, 2009 12:21 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ask_captainjack on June 27th, 2009 12:07 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ask_arealdoctor on June 27th, 2009 12:09 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ask_captainjack on June 27th, 2009 12:17 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ask_arealdoctor on June 27th, 2009 12:20 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ask_captainjack on June 27th, 2009 12:25 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ask_arealdoctor on June 27th, 2009 12:27 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ask_aboutcoffee on June 27th, 2009 12:55 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ask_arealdoctor on June 27th, 2009 12:58 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - timeagency on June 27th, 2009 02:18 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ask_arealdoctor on June 27th, 2009 02:21 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ask_aboutcoffee on June 26th, 2009 11:44 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ask_arealdoctor on June 26th, 2009 11:46 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ask_aboutcoffee on June 26th, 2009 11:50 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ask_janet on June 27th, 2009 12:39 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ask_arealdoctor on June 27th, 2009 12:57 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ask_janet on June 27th, 2009 01:19 am (UTC) (Expand)
timeagencytimeagency on June 26th, 2009 10:52 pm (UTC)
Do you remember Art's thesis? I can't remember the title but it was quite a hit at Battle School. He got laid a lot.
ask_captainjackask_captainjack on June 26th, 2009 11:13 pm (UTC)
"The Application of Tongue to Eye Stalk: Perspectives in XenoErotica"

A classic.
(no subject) - timeagency on June 27th, 2009 02:21 am (UTC) (Expand)
their tongues battled for dominancestarstealingirl on June 26th, 2009 11:08 pm (UTC)
Thanks, Professor Captain! I feel inspired already!

...well, not inspired, exactly. But it turns out that when I switch my thesis to Courier font, the page count becomes 25% higher. Which leaves me even more time to play with sand. And boxes. (Mostly boxes.)

I also think the use of the phrase "totally bitchin'" really enhances the arguments in your future thesis. In fact, I'm thinking of changing my thesis title to "Modern Feminism: In Transition and Totally Bitchin'."

For the record: I plan on wearing the clothes in my icon to my thesis defense. I figure there's no way they'll even remember what my thesis is about because they'll be too distracted by my breasts consider me anything other than impeccably intelligent while I'm wearing these glasses. I would rather just fuck my advisor, but she's one of those pesky 21st century professors who insists on labeling herself "heterosexual." My breasts, however, transcend all petty labels.

Also: there are no warnings on my thesis. Reading a thesis is supposed to be triggering. Duh.
ask_captainjackask_captainjack on June 26th, 2009 11:17 pm (UTC)
I'M SO PLEASED THAT YOU WERE ABLE TO BE HELPED BY ME.

When you turn in your paper be sure to mention my name. You can say I looked it over and gave it a Harkness "thumbs up".

Stuffy OxBridge types fucking adore me. Especially the ones that study sculpture at Saint Martins college.
(no subject) - starstealingirl on June 26th, 2009 11:21 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ask_captainjack on June 26th, 2009 11:22 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - starstealingirl on June 26th, 2009 11:25 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - gwen_e_cooper on June 26th, 2009 11:24 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ask_captainjack on June 26th, 2009 11:45 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - dru_evilista on June 27th, 2009 07:19 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ask_aboutcoffee on June 26th, 2009 11:46 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ask_arealdoctor on June 26th, 2009 11:47 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - gwen_e_cooper on June 26th, 2009 11:51 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ask_aboutcoffee on June 26th, 2009 11:58 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ask_janet on June 27th, 2009 01:21 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - gwen_e_cooper on June 27th, 2009 03:52 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ask_janet on June 27th, 2009 04:03 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - phaetonschariot on June 26th, 2009 11:24 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - starstealingirl on June 26th, 2009 11:27 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - phaetonschariot on June 26th, 2009 11:28 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - starstealingirl on June 26th, 2009 11:32 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - phaetonschariot on June 26th, 2009 11:33 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - starstealingirl on June 26th, 2009 11:40 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ask_captainjack on June 26th, 2009 11:43 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - starstealingirl on June 26th, 2009 11:50 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ask_captainjack on June 26th, 2009 11:52 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - amand_r on June 27th, 2009 01:59 am (UTC) (Expand)
lefaym: academialefaym on June 27th, 2009 12:07 am (UTC)
I am also doing a thesis, but I don't procrastinate by doing housework, I procrastinate by writing fan-fictions (in which you often make an appearance). You also make a brief appearance in my thesis, when I discuss that documentary about the time you found the Doctor and went to the end of the universe with him and Martha.
ask_captainjack: Bigglesask_captainjack on June 27th, 2009 12:11 am (UTC)
THAT WAS AN AMAZING TIME. I approve of you discussing it.

I'm significant huh? And thematic and all that?
(no subject) - lefaym on June 27th, 2009 12:20 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ask_arealdoctor on June 27th, 2009 12:21 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - lefaym on June 27th, 2009 12:29 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ask_arealdoctor on June 27th, 2009 12:31 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - amand_r on June 27th, 2009 02:01 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - lefaym on June 27th, 2009 02:06 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - amand_r on June 27th, 2009 02:08 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ask_captainjack on June 27th, 2009 02:08 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - amand_r on June 27th, 2009 02:10 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - huesiemama on June 28th, 2009 02:54 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - amand_r on June 28th, 2009 02:58 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - huesiemama on June 28th, 2009 04:28 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - amand_r on June 28th, 2009 04:37 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ask_aboutcoffee on June 28th, 2009 05:43 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - amand_r on June 28th, 2009 05:45 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ask_aboutcoffee on June 28th, 2009 05:49 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - amand_r on June 28th, 2009 05:53 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ask_captainjack on June 27th, 2009 12:26 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - lefaym on June 27th, 2009 12:33 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - neifile7 on June 27th, 2009 01:14 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - lefaym on June 27th, 2009 02:04 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ask_arealdoctor on June 27th, 2009 01:02 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ask_arealdoctor on June 27th, 2009 12:13 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - lefaym on June 27th, 2009 12:22 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ask_arealdoctor on June 27th, 2009 12:24 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - lefaym on June 27th, 2009 12:31 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ask_arealdoctor on June 27th, 2009 12:33 am (UTC) (Expand)
That's Lay-day Snackpants to you, buster.: CAPTAIN UNDERPANTSamand_r on June 27th, 2009 12:34 am (UTC)
This advice makes me wish I was writing a thesis. Maybe I should just write one anyway. On like, beanie babies or something.
ask_captainjackask_captainjack on June 27th, 2009 12:37 am (UTC)
ABSOLUTELY.

Failing that there's always "The Works of Joss Whedon: A Comparative Analysis". You could probably knock it off in a weekend or two. That's only one weekend more than it takes to write a paper about Harry Potter!
(no subject) - amand_r on June 27th, 2009 12:41 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ask_captainjack on June 27th, 2009 12:45 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - amand_r on June 27th, 2009 12:48 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ask_captainjack on June 27th, 2009 12:49 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - amand_r on June 27th, 2009 12:50 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ask_captainjack on June 27th, 2009 12:55 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - amand_r on June 27th, 2009 12:57 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ask_captainjack on June 27th, 2009 01:01 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - amand_r on June 27th, 2009 01:01 am (UTC) (Expand)
ask_janetask_janet on June 27th, 2009 12:36 am (UTC)
i wrote a thesis too. it was called "the practical applications of my teeth in everything."

it was published by hustler.
ask_captainjackask_captainjack on June 27th, 2009 12:39 am (UTC)
You liar. Hustler is peer-reviewed. Who reviewed your scrawlings? You can't say Blowfish because we all know he couldn't read.
(no subject) - ask_janet on June 27th, 2009 12:44 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ask_captainjack on June 27th, 2009 12:45 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ask_janet on June 27th, 2009 12:46 am (UTC) (Expand)
monluztrella on June 27th, 2009 01:53 am (UTC)
"So, I rescued those ships in the neutral zone and didn't use up all my dilithium and stuff, right?" I said to him, as we were going at it. "Can we just mark this as pass?"

He agreed with my proposal.


Did he found it... logical?
ask_captainjackask_captainjack on June 27th, 2009 02:00 am (UTC)
I think so!

What he actually said was "Nnnngh!"

To be fair his mouth was full.
of_tarminster: masterof_tarminster on June 27th, 2009 02:13 am (UTC)
ask_captainjackask_captainjack on June 27th, 2009 02:26 am (UTC)
I thought you were going to rick roll me, but when I didn't hear Rick Astley's voice I realised it was a joke on HIM. NOT ME!

HA HA HA. The internet Rick Rolled Rick! (Ironic.)
The Sandwich of Solidarity: puppysadshane_mayhem on June 27th, 2009 02:31 am (UTC)
On the other hand, OP, you could be experiencing what I've come to know as the Flowers For Algernon Scenario: through some kind of science or fantasy or something, you are getting stupider!!! I don't know how to help you, or what else to say except, it really sucks. I know. I know.
ask_captainjack: Adviceask_captainjack on June 27th, 2009 02:36 am (UTC)
It happens. I'm pretty sure Hart is getting stupider and Theresa is getting smarter.

Hart tried to walk through a glass door the other day. Theresa skittered over and slid the door open with his little puppy paws!
(no subject) - shane_mayhem on June 27th, 2009 02:42 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - starstealingirl on June 29th, 2009 04:44 pm (UTC) (Expand)
ask_atemp: profile donnaask_atemp on June 28th, 2009 05:13 pm (UTC)
Honestly, she should just just write a Thesis in Pervesions!

WHO WALKS AROUND IN LINGERIE DOING HOUSE CHORES!

French porno actresses, that's who!

XTUBE IS GOING TO MAKE YOU GO BLIND! THEN HOW WILL YOU WRITE YOUR THESIS?!

Ianto Jones: fashionask_aboutcoffee on June 28th, 2009 05:51 pm (UTC)
Ma'am, not to argue, but if everything that people said drove you blind actually did, I would have lost my sight round about age fourteen.

Don't tell me you've never done house chores in the semi-nude? You're missing out!

Don't make bacon, though. Never ends well.
(no subject) - ask_atemp on June 29th, 2009 09:48 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ask_aboutcoffee on June 29th, 2009 01:11 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ask_atemp on June 29th, 2009 10:09 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ask_aboutcoffee on June 29th, 2009 01:09 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ask_captainjack on June 29th, 2009 01:43 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ask_atemp on June 29th, 2009 09:49 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - starstealingirl on June 29th, 2009 04:48 pm (UTC) (Expand)